I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just invented taco cereal.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize
