Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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