i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
