please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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