i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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