When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
