Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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