Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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