Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
