How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
