We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize