No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
