don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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