I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
