P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
