I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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