New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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