So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
