The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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