Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
