i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
