You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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