why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
