I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
