The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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