she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
