after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He better not be in your backpack
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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