I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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