youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
