I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
