So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's like heaven, but drunker
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So much rum. So many feels.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
