I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
