i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
