After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
high people should be assigned attendants
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
