dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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