I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
