If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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