Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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