Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
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i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
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I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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