it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
