i just google imaged poop.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
