So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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