He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize