Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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