White coat. Heels.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
