If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
420 ftw
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
