I have demons in me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
