i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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