Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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