swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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