Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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