I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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