i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
