My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
