I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
