What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
