i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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